Becoming a parent is one of life’s most profound experiences. It’s beautiful, exhausting, overwhelming, and deeply transformative. While nothing truly prepares you for parenthood, there are things I wish I had known that no book or prenatal class quite captured.
Whether you're expecting your first child or holding your newborn right now, here’s my honest take on what I wish someone had told me.
1. The Love Is Instant, But Also Grows Over Time
Everyone says you’ll fall in love with your baby the moment you see them. And sometimes, you do. But sometimes, it takes time, and that’s okay. I wish I knew that bonding can be a gradual process. You're not a bad parent if it doesn't happen instantly. It can happen instantly, within days, within months.
2. Sleep Deprivation Changes Everything
It’s not just being tired. It's a fog that affects your emotions, patience, and even decision-making. I underestimated how vital sleep was and how hard it would be to function without it. If you’re tired, rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a survival need.
3. You’ll Second-Guess Yourself Constantly
From how to hold the baby to whether you're feeding enough, every decision feels monumental at first. I wish someone had told me that doubt is part of the job and that trusting your gut is a skill you build with time.
4. Your Relationship Will Change
Having a baby changes your relationship dynamic sometimes in beautiful ways, other times with new friction. I wasn’t prepared for how much we’d need to communicate, renegotiate roles, and find new ways to connect. It takes work, and that’s normal.
5. “Mom Guilt” or “Dad Guilt” Is Real
No matter how much you do, you’ll worry you’re not doing enough. I wish I knew that guilt is often a sign of how deeply you care, but you don’t have to carry it alone. You are doing your best, and that is enough.
6. There’s No One “Right” Way to Parent
I read so many books, blogs, and forums trying to find the perfect approach. The truth? Every child is different, every parent is different, and your best way is the one that works for your family. Don’t let comparison steal your peace.
7. The Small Moments Matter Most
I expected big milestones to feel most important, but it’s the everyday moments that stole my heart. The sleepy snuggles, the giggles during bath time, the first time they hold your finger. Those are the memories I cherish most.
8. You’ll Lose Parts of Yourself And Find New Ones
Parenthood does change you. Some hobbies may pause. Your time becomes limited. But over time, I discovered new strengths, passions, and purpose. You’re not losing you, you’re growing into a new version of yourself.
9. You Need a Village (and That’s Okay)
I thought I had to do it all myself. I didn’t want to seem like I couldn’t handle it. But I learned that asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise. Accept the support. Build your village. You don’t have to do this alone.
10. You’re Exactly the Parent Your Child Needs
You will mess up. You will have bad days. You will not be perfect, and yet, your child will look at you like you are their world. Because of them, you are. You’re learning and growing right alongside them. That’s the beauty of it all.
Final Thoughts
Parenthood isn’t about getting it right all the time. It’s about showing up, loving hard, and learning along the way. I wish I could go back and hug my past self and say, “You’re doing great. It’s okay to not have it all figured out.”
If you’re reading this as a new or expecting parent, take a deep breath. You’ve got this, and you’re not alone.
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